Crazy Talk.

I'm reading a really interesting book written in the eighties called the Body Electric. It's basically about how the body is wired neurologically speaking... and how and what causes the body to heal (at least some of it anyway).

I'm reading a whole section right now about how organisims like worms and salamanders regenerate limbs.

This book also talks about acupuncture and how it's basically like a more elaborate game of Operation. I haven't gotten there yet.

It's crazy but I've been dealing with a lot of my own spirituality the last several months and I find myself oscilating between ideas of atheisim and something along the lines of taoisim or something rooted in nauture. I've been reading books like this to try to come to come up with awnsers to the exisitance of God (I use the term "God" loosely because I do not believe in any sort of intellegent being that watches over me or cares for me).

You're probably wondering what I'm talking about..

I don't think in the grand marvelous scheme of the universe I matter. I find it comforting to know that I don't matter and that I got to be here for a point in time, and that when I'm gone, it'll be like I never was at all. I take great relief in knowing I am small. It's also comforting me that in the scheme of things there's nothing that separates me from the sofa I'm sitting on right now, my cat, or the tree outside my window. In the end, we are all matter and it's glorious to know that for right now, I am apart of this big beautiful, crazy organisim that makes up our world and our universe and that's enough for me.

The only thing that holds me back from being an athiest is that I believe all living things have an energy force around them or that they exude and that I can't let go the idea of the existance of the soul. Not a soul in an intellegent sense.. but something. There is clearly something different about someone or something that is alive vs something that is dead. There is something missing from a dead being.

Back to what I was getting at, I'm wanting to read books like this because I'm hoping learning about how the brain and the electric impulses of the body work will help me understand that maybe this whole idea of the "soul" or "energy" is made up and that really, it's just all in our wiring.

I think I would sleep better at night if I had an definitive answer.

Also I'm obsessed with Marian Diamond:

Watch it on Academic Earth